Experience Not Required
Back in the days when I was a Master-in-training (this would be in the mid-late 90s), I often heard people say that one could not be a good top unless he had experience as a bottom. This was in the context of fisting, and I found this hard to believe. I had attempted receiving only a handful of times but I was a regular participant at The Sling (local fisting party) where guys would wait for me to arrive so they could be opened up safely and enjoy the rest of the evening. And when I tried to tell these people how little experience I had, they were surprised that I could have any skill at all.
As a Master, it is not necessary that I experience everything I might do to someone else. What I would get from it is completely different from what anyone else gets. I need enough personal experience to know what it feels like — lightly or temporarily — but the most important thing is how my subject feels, and the best way to know that is to read him like a book.
How he breathes, how he moves, how tense or relaxed he is… everything he does tells me if he’s getting what he wants. If he is, I’m doing it right. If not, I adjust until he is.
Most people have heard of “The Golden Rule”: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” My (day job) boss recently told me about “The Platinum Rule”: “Do unto others as they want done unto them.”
That is what Mastery is all about.